divorcedlondon

It’s great to be back.

Last weekend was fantastic; mine started on Thursday and I made more than the most of it. It’s been quite a while since I could indulge in my favourite pastime and I really made up for lost time.

This really was my first chance in months to play my sort of discreet games and on that score, I scored…twice, plus a prossie! Result!

My best mate Bob, who I’m staying with at the moment, was away for a few nights, so I had his flat all to myself.

It’s a really nice place, with views over London in one of those new blocks in Paddington. I like it so much, I’m want to try to rent a place of my own in the same building! Once I can afford it, that is.

With Bob away, I placed a slew of adverts onto my two favourite sleazy contact sites. Advertising is free and I do love a bargain, so I was able to put up so many ads that I lost count.

Some of you must think I am really stupid, as I had several replies to my decoy advert.

Decoy advert?

That’s right, I posted one specifically to see who was out there, looking for me. I had several replies to this advert, which is pretty much, word for word, from my last blog entry:

“flat-sitter seeking NSA fun - m4w

Hello. I'm flat-sitting for a mate in his luxury flat in Paddington and I'm looking for some discreet, NSA fun any time from now until Sunday night.

I'm 38, attractive, trim, tanned and very sexy. I'm recently divorced and ready for some NSA action. I'm very experienced and open-minded too.

Mainly, I love oral sex and have a talented tongue. Disappointment is impossible; I aim to please!

If you're free anytime in the next few days and you would enjoy a little special treatment, in luxury surroundings, with spectacular views over London, you know what to do!”

This advert was placed intentionally so people who seek to expose my identity would discover it. Instead, I’ve exposed them, yet again.

I wonder if the hot tabloid reporter is back on my trail? Perhaps one of those replies was from her?

I may not know exactly who they are, but I know they exist and I know they are out there, waiting for me to make a mistake. That will never happen! No one will ever find out my true identity! I shall remain anonymous forever!

So go on, keep trying. You’ll never catch me out!

The other adverts I ran were quite diverse. I used every trick in the book I could think of and then some. I offered oral sex without strings, I offered to be generous, I even ran the “dominant master” advert, which I haven’t had any luck with in ages.

It’s been so long since I’ve had the chance or the venue to do this sort of thing, I really wanted to make the most of it. I didn’t take any chances, right from day one.

Bob left Thursday from his office, so I had the place to myself pretty much from when I woke up. I decided I was simply going to indulge myself in every possible way, all weekend.

I started out by cooking myself a fry-up, the Full Monty, with eggs, beans, bacon, sausage, hash brows, beans, fried tomato and fried bread. There was a tin of mushrooms, but to be honest, since my trip to Amsterdam a few months back and a bad experience with mushrooms of the magic variety, the thought of any mushroom makes me feel queasy.

Once breakfast was out of the way, I made myself a strong cup of coffee and logged onto the internet. I spent a good couple of hours surfing and posting my adverts. I kept them all running until Sunday, even the decoy ad.

Once I finished posting my adverts, I started looking at the escort websites. Straight away I discovered something really good; now that I’m staying in central London, the rates for outcalls are cheaper. Cheaper by like fifty quid! Result!

I was leaving nothing to chance on my first night of discreet fun. Not having played the advert game in a while, I wasn’t certain how lucky I would be, no matter how hard I tried. That first night, what I wanted was a sure thing!

I find it so easy to get lost on those escort websites. First of all, there are literally hundreds of them. The commercial sex industry is huge and the government are foolish for not taking a cut of the action in taxes. Especially on the high end of the market, where two-hundred pounds or so will get you an hour with an incredibly beautiful young woman who will blow your mind and your cock!

I’ve decided that from now on, when I punt, it’s only going to be with this end of the market. I’m giving up massage parlours completely. The main reason I used them anyway, were the times when I couldn’t play at home. Now that I don’t have a wife getting in the way, I can always play at my place. Or in the case of the weekend just gone, play at Bob’s.

I’ve got my own room in Bob’s flat, with a decent sized double bed, I could even entertain when Bob is around, but I don’t want to push my luck too much.

I bet I looked at a thousand different women, though there is some overlap between sites. Some escorts list themselves with more than one agency, so when you start to recognise faces again and again, you know you’ve been looking too long!

It may have taken hours, but I chose wisely. I picked a Pamela Anderson look-a-like from one of the sites I visited.

She was described as a “proper Barbie doll type” and from the photo; I would say that is true. She had bleached blond hair, pneumatically large breasts and a slim waist. So far, so good.

I telephoned the office to make a booking and confirm all the details. This was mid-afternoon and I arranged for “Cherry” to visit me at 10pm. They said they would telephone back at 9pm, just to confirm again. That left me the remainder of the day to sort out a couple of things as well as giving me time to cancel, should one of my adverts bear fruit.

I phoned my mate Elvis right after that. This was the first time I contacted him since I returned from Paphos. I arranged for him to visit me at Bob’s flat around 8pm.

Elvis, in case you don’t know, is my charlie dealer. He also usually has my new favourite penis pills, Apcalis, which is the generic form of Cialis. I hadn’t seen him since before I left for Cyprus, which means I needed to sort him out for the last lot I bought, as well as scoring some more.

With all my plans in place, I thought it wouldn’t be a bad idea to venture out and run a couple of errands before the fun started. I got dressed and walked up to Edgeware Road. I hit a cash point and withdrew 500 quid. It may sound like a lot, but it goes quick when you indulge yourself as I do.

The whore was going to cost £200 and I already owed Elvis more than £300 from the last time. It’s a good thing I had a little extra in my wallet just in case.

Now Elvis is quite cool and he never expects me to pay him for what I get, when I get it. He always tells me to “sort him out next time.” It means I always end up owing him whenever I see him. He’s just too nice.

I'll give you another example, he does this deal where you pay for 6 grams and get the seventh one free, which is a great bargain! He’s really customer oriented!

I also visited an off-license, since when I party with charlie, I also like to have some whiskey with it. I bought a full bottle of a decent, single malt. It set me back a bit, but I do enjoy it, so why not?

Once I got back to Bob’s flat, I had a little rest. I was hoping tonight would be strenuous and I wanted to be ready!

I woke up around 6pm and had a shower. I put on my favourite charcoal grey towelling robe, which I like to wear when I entertain women. Then I started sorting out the flat.

Because it’s not my place, I thought it was best to stash some of Bob’s more valuable items. Not because of Elvis, who I trust completely, but because of the prossie. I’ve never had one steal from me, but there’s always a first time. She’s a stranger, after all, so I don’t like taking chances.

Once the flat was ready and I was ready, I poured myself a whiskey and waited for Elvis. Nearly bang on time, the doorbell rang and I buzzed him in through the security entrance.

Elvis came in looking sharp, but then he is always well dressed. He’s Croatian, but speaks perfect, slightly accented English. He told me “Elvis” is actually a very common name in Croatia. I didn’t know that until he told me.

Elvis sat down with me in the lounge and I offered him a whiskey, but he declined. After catching up with him a bit, we got down to business. I paid him for the last batch, and then asked him for the same deal. That part of the transaction was easy.

The problem was the Apcalis, he didn’t have any more in stock and was waiting for his supplier to come up with some additional tablets.

This was bad news for me, as I really prefer Apcalis to Vega, the generic form of Viagra. Apcalis has less side effects, but mainly it’s much longer lasting. It’s called the “weekend pill” and that’s no lie, your cock stays hard for a couple of days, easy!

It wasn’t a major upset though, as I still have plenty of Vega. I’ve got a good source for Vega, a website here in the UK. It’s cheap and easy to get and if I didn’t know Apcalis existed, I would still think it was great!

Elvis left soon after that and I got stuck into the cocaine. I can’t say I’m an expert on the stuff, but Elvis’s goods are always consistent. I did a couple of lines and immediately felt the rush; that electric surge through every nerve of my body, letting me know that it was doing its trick.

I finished all the charlie I brought to Paphos, so this was my first since I returned. Damn, did I enjoy it! I was feeling really good!

I tuned Bob’s stereo into Magic FM to set the right sort of mood. I was really looking forward to an evening of uninhibited, sensual, discreet fun!

Like clockwork, the phone rang at 9pm and I confirmed everything. They promised the young lady, “Cherry” would be with me promptly at 10pm. Not long after that phone call, I popped a Vega to get ready for her arrival.

Within a few minutes of the target time, the doorbell again rang and I buzzed her through the security door. The lifts in this building are very modern and quick, so it didn’t take her long to reach my floor and knock on the door. She was really worth waiting for!

I opened the door and greeted “Cherry”. She looked nearly identical to her photo; though there’s one thing the picture didn’t do justice to…her height! She was wearing quite high, spiked heeled shoes and combined with her own, natural height, meant she towered over me! I’m not complaining! Statuesque is the word that came to mind!

I should say that I’m not particularly short, nor am I very tall. I’m just a bit above average, around 5’10” if you must know, she was easily 6’2” with her shoes on and I was going to make sure they stayed on!

Also, she wasn’t wearing what I class as the uniform of a prossie. Normally, the higher-class call girls wear a skirt and jacket combo, in a dark colour, with a simple white blouse. It’s usually nothing too outrageous, but something that a woman might wear to work, sort of office-y, but not “Cherry”.

“Cherry” was wearing an ultra-tight micro-mini skirt, which showed off her legs to the full effect and barely covered her crotch. The high heels only complimented this and her calf muscles looked fantastic.

Her top was also quite tight and she was bra-less; her firm, full breasts strained against the material. As soon as I saw her, I knew it was going to be 200 quid very well spent.

I led her into the lounge and we sat down together on the sofa. I offered her a drink and she asked for a neat vodka. Bob likes vodka himself, so I knew there was a bottle somewhere in the kitchen. Once I found it, I poured her a long measure and brought it to her in the lounge.

I let her ask for the money, which hookers always do up-front, to get it out of the way, before the fun begins. It’s never a problem.

I offered her some of the charlie, which she quickly accepted. I racked up a few hefty lines on Bob’s glass coffee table. I definitely want a table like this when I get my flat!

We both snorted up the coke and let it work its magic. “Cherry” downed her vodka in one go. I liked her already! She asked if she could smoke, but she didn’t mean a cigarette. She pulled a very-well rolled spliff out of her handbag and lit it. It smelled strong, like the stuff I had in Amsterdam a few months back. She offered it to me and I readily accepted.

I could feel the cocktail of drugs and alcohol taking hold on me and I felt fantastic, like the king of the world!

“Cherry” seemed to be relaxing too as we prepared for the real fun to begin. I suggested we take the party to someplace more comfortable and we moved into the bedroom.

I had put some candles out before “Cherry” arrived and my bedroom was bathed in a warm glow. I had Magic FM tuned in on the radio in there, so the music continued as we changed locations.

As soon as we reached the bedroom, “Cherry” stripped down to her knickers and suspender belt. She kept her top and her shoes on. We already discussed what I wanted when we sorted out the money. I wanted “half and half”.

For those of you uninitiated in the ways of commercial sex, “half and half” means oral and straight fucking. I also like reverse-oral and I’ve yet to have that ever be a problem!

I spent a moment, just looking at her, under the candlelight, in her knickers. Damn, she was incredible! She was hot enough to pose for FHM, maybe even as a “High Street Honey”.

By now, the drug having the most noticeable effect on me was the Vega. My cock was pulsing; the blood was coursing through its veins, making me very hard. If I was playing cricket with it, I could easily hit a century!

I opened my robe and let “Cherry” see my erection. She seemed transfixed by it and her eyes didn’t break away as she dropped to her knees in front of me. She grabbed it around the base and looked up at me. Once her eyes locked on mine, she took my cock in her mouth and started sucking on it. She had the most talented tongue! God, it felt good.

There’s something almost religious about receiving oral sex from someone who knows what they’re doing. I bet you those yoga guys in India have to meditate for weeks to reach the same heightened state of awareness I reach when being blown by someone that’s good at it!

I’m sure the charlie, booze and cannabis weren’t hurting either. I was proper buzzing!

She brought me very close to orgasm in no time. I do have a tendency towards pre-mature ejaculation and I wasn’t sure if she would let me cum twice, so I was pleased when she eased off before I shot. Again, her experience meant she could tell exactly where I was and didn’t let me go too far.

She stood up and kissed me deeply. Her tongue probed the back of my throat for any sign of my tonsils. I should have told her I had the surgically removed when I was a kid!

I let my hands wander all over her body; her ass was so firm and squeezable, I couldn’t get enough. I hooked my thumbs under the hem of her top and lifted it over her head. Her breasts were unfeasibly firm and standing at attention. It was then I realised they were probably fake, though I couldn’t see any scars underneath them.

I fondled her tits for a while and rubbed her nipples between my index finger and thumbs. They were very erect and suckable, so that’s exactly what I did. I could have supped from her breasts for hours, but a nagging throbbing between my legs reminded me that I had more important pursuits ahead of me.

I tugged at her knickers, which was enough to get her to slip them off. I motioned for her to get up on the bed, on all fours and I knelt behind her. She had a small, geometric design tattooed on the base of her spine. It was very sexy!

She found her skirt on the floor and withdrew a condom from the pocket. She didn’t need to, as I bought a big box of them myself, earlier in the day.

I actually would have preferred to use my own, as I’m trying a new brand – Durex Performa. They’re supposed to have some special lube, which helps you to last longer. I’ll take all the help I can get!

I slipped the rubber johnny on my cock and prepared for entry. I slipped right inside, like a piston, sheathed. Her grip was lovely; I grabbed a handful of her hair and tugged on it gently. It didn’t take us long to find a nice comfortable rhythm. I still didn’t want to go fast; I wanted this one to last!

My balls had other ideas and before long, I felt that familiar tightening of my scrotum. I couldn’t take it any longer and I shot my wad with force. Thanks to the Vega, I stayed hard after shooting and continued to pump for a while before my erection deflated.

It was good, but I wanted more! “Cherry” had other ideas and said I could only pop once, unless I was willing to pay more. After seeing Elvis and paying “Cherry”, I didn’t have enough cash left to go again. I remember thinking “oh well, I’ll just have a massive wank after she leaves”. That’s just what I did!

“Cherry” didn’t ask to use the shower, but she did use the loo to put herself back together. Her goodbye was quick and like a flash, she was gone.

All in all, it was a great night, but my fun didn’t end there!

On Friday night, I arranged to meet a little hottie from one of my adverts. It was my old favourite, “no strings oral sex available” and this reply came from The Gumtree.

I did have a handful of replies from all the adverts, but not to the level I’m used to. It seems my favourite sites have become more popular than ever, which means more competition. That’s not good, but once I’ve got my own place, I’m going to try proper internet dating. I’ll still play on the NSA sites too.

The lucky woman on Friday replied to my oral-sex advert from her work email, which always shocks me. It meant I had her real name and employer details before I even opened her mail. Very silly.

Ladies, listen to discreetlondon: Get a Hotmail, a Yahoo or even a Gmail if you’re going to play these sorts of games. Stay anonymous as long as you can! I can even help you with a Gmail, if you want one – just email me at discreetlondon@gmail.com and I’ll take care of the rest. You won’t have to thank me, unless you’re in London and really want to…!

Scratch that, I won’t meet anyone who contacts me through this blog, it’s just too risky. But I will give you a Gmail invite, if you want one.

The woman I met on Friday, said in her initial reply that she was having a bad day at work and needed to release some stress. She said what I was offering was exactly what she needed and if we liked each other, we could do even more. She said she really needed to be eaten and fucked, so I offered her the full discreetlondon treatment when I emailed her back. She accepted and I arranged for her to visit me after she finished work.

The flat was still in reasonable shape, though I hadn’t changed the sheets. I doubted she would notice.

I had a shower, put on my robe and did a couple of lines, to perk myself up and waited for her to arrive. She was a bit late, but that was not a problem as I forgot to take my Vega. Had she been on-time, I wouldn’t have been ready, but since she was late, it was smooth sailing and my mast was standing tall!

That’s the thing about Apcalis, if I’d had some of that on Thursday night, I wouldn’t have needed a second dose on Friday night. I really hope Elvis can get some more and soon!

Her name was “Julie” and she was around 33 years old. She wasn’t fat, but she definitely wasn’t thin either. She was wearing a pair of blue jeans and her ass was heart shaped and a bit big. I liked it.

“Julie” had blonde hair, but it didn’t look natural and wasn’t long enough for my tastes. What did I want for free? She’d do. She did!

I brought her into the lounge and we sat on the sofa. I offered her a drink, she said she’d have whatever I was having. I went to the kitchen and got two glasses and my single malt whiskey. When I returned, I poured two large measures and offered her one.

She sipped it slowly and I could tell it really wasn’t to her liking. I offered to get her something else, but she said she was fine.

She seemed a bit nervous and up tight, so I thought better of offering her any charlie. I let her stick to the booze and relax while I excused myself for a quick line in the toilet.

I was glad I stashed the wrap in the loo, it made it easy for me to sneak a quick toot!

When I returned, I noticed she had finished her whiskey, so I suggested we get started. She asked if I had any porn videos and as shocking as it might sound, I didn’t have any handy. Bob probably had some, but I don’t know where he keeps it. Mine is packed away somewhere and I wouldn’t have the first clue which box! Oh well.

I told her “no”, but explained she wouldn’t need it, because I’m so good at eating pussy. I offered to show her, right then and there. She stood up and un-did her jeans, pulling them to the floor.

She had a bit of a belly, but I didn’t mind. She was wearing black knickers, quite plain, but not un-sexy. She slipped them off too, revealing a brunette bush. I was right that she dyed her hair blonde!

She reclined back on the sofa and spread her legs. I can’t think of a more inviting sight! I dropped to my knees and buried my face. Her aroma made my nostrils tingle and my cock dance. My tongue probed the folds until I found her rosebud. I twiddled it terrifically with my talented tongue, twirling and twisting the tip of it against her engorged clit.

I could tell from her moans and regular deep breaths that I was achieving the desired effect. She was very responsive and seemed to crave this like a drug. It didn’t take long for her to have a massive orgasm.

But did I stop licking? Like fuck I didn’t! I kept going until she had a further two and pushed me away, not being able to take any more!

We both sat back and I let her catch her breath. She looked over at me and I could see the satisfaction in her eyes. She slid across the sofa, right next to me and kissed me gently on the lips. Her tongue parted my lips and she licked them. She reached her hand down and wrapped her fingers around the shaft of my throbbing cock.

She went down on me, with some enthusiasm. She was trying hard to please me and her technique wasn’t bad, but it was no match for “Cherry” the previous night. Hookers do it better, what can I say? It must be all that extra experience.

I’m not complaining, as they say, “there’s no such thing as a bad blow job”. Or is it, “the only bad blow job, is no blow job at all!” Take your pick.

I told her I was coming close to cumming, but that only increased her enthusiasm for sucking me off. If she wanted me to unload in her mouth, she’d get no argument from me!

She swallowed it all and then some, getting the last drops out before letting go of my prick. The Vega was keeping it semi-hard, even after cumming. “Julie” asked for another whiskey.

I got it for her quickly. I’d much rather kiss her after she washed my spunk out of her mouth with some liquor. There’s nothing wrong with that, is there?

I excused myself to the loo again for a couple more fat lines of coke. I was enjoying this so much,!

When I returned, “Julie” had stripped off completely. She asked me to fuck her. Who am I to refuse a request?

I fished a condom from my robe pocket, one of those fancy new Durex’s I mentioned. I slipped it on my todger and asked her how she wanted it. She told me to lie down on my back, on the floor, so she could ride it.

She straddled me and eased herself down my shaft. Her grip was firm and she gasped for breath when it was in to the hilt. She bounced up and down on my cock for all she was worth.

I think the Performa condoms helped because I lasted a reasonably long time. It’s hard to tell, though since I came once already. The second time always takes longer, that’s just the way it is.

We ended up fucking a few more times, before we got dressed and I put her in a black cab back home. Again, it was another fun night. I could get used to this.

Needless to say I slept very well that evening, but when I woke up on Saturday, I wanted more! I hit the websites with a vengeance, I was determined to find someone else to play with that night!

I placed a few more adverts and even replied to a few myself. I know that replying to women’s ads is usually a waste of time, but I thought what the fuck? I had nothing to lose.

Or win, as I got nowhere with my own adverts or anyone else’s. Sometimes it’s like that.

I didn’t give up, I kept going until late in the evening. Then, an unusual advert caught my eye. The advert itself wasn’t that unusual, but the fact that I was interested in it, certainly was.

Now, I should explain that I was partying quite hard on Saturday night, with the charlie and the whiskey. By midnight, I was feeling no pain and perhaps my judgement wasn’t what it should have been.

Here’s my next internet confession:

On Saturday night, I replied to advert placed by a married couple, staying in a west-end hotel, a short taxi ride from Bob’s flat. They were looking for more than a three-some, they were looking for a “gang-bang” for the wife and wanted as many guys as possible to visit the room and service her.

I’ve never done anything like this before and hopefully won’t again. The anticipation was much more exciting than the actual event. To be honest, it made me feel cheap, though at least I got to cum.

I arrived at the hotel after 1am and announced myself at the front desk. It was a decent hotel and I could tell from the reaction of the desk clerk that he suspected something was up. I gave the same fake name I used on my emails and after a quick call to the room, I was directed to the lift.

When I arrived at the room, I knocked gently. The door was quickly answered and I was shown inside. The lights were dim and there were several other guys standing around. I would try to describe them, but I tried not to pay too much attention to any of them in any detail. When I got closer to the bed, I saw the woman I was going to screw.

She was on the bed, on all fours, being spit roasted by two guys. A few more were standing around watching. I guessed that the man with the videocamera was her husband, as he said he would be filming it, but not showing any of the guy’s faces.

I know what you’re thinking, but like I said, drugs and alcohol impaired my judgement. It all seemed like a good idea at the time.

Eventually, it was my turn and I dropped my trousers and approached the bed. I had taken a Vega before I left home, so my cock was already rock hard when I jammed it in her mouth. She was easily late forties and had stretch marks from bearing a child or two. She sure seemed keen though and couldn’t get enough.

After a while, the guy who was fucking her finished, so I slipped a johnny on and took his place. She was still on all fours as I gave it to her, doggie-style. I really let her have it, too. I gave it as good as I could.

Once I came, I tossed the condom in the bin, wiped my cock with a tissue, pulled my trousers back up and left. It really was that simple. Within minutes, I was back in a black cab, heading towards Paddington.

When I got home, I stripped off and thought about the three different women I fucked and had another massive wank. It had to be done.

What a great weekend, though I think I’m a little ashamed of what I did on Saturday night. It really did make me feel cheap and a bit sleazy. Sure, I enjoyed it, but I don’t know that it’s something I’m in any rush to repeat.

I was actually planning on posting this entry a couple of days ago, but Bob and I have been out the last few nights. Aside from slowing down the progress of my first proper blog entry, all this social activity interfered with my plans to start looking for a new job this week. I haven’t done a damn thing on that score, so next week, look out! I’m going to hit the ground running and find myself a great new job!

Next week, I’m also going to tell you about the place Bob and I have been frequenting lately. You’ve probably heard of it, as they advertise quite a bit. It’s an upmarket gentleman’s club with table and lap dancing. I’m not going to mention its name, because you can get a lot more than a table dance there and I want it to stay that way!

Put it this way ladies, if your man says he’s been to a table dancing club, he’s been getting more than a lap-dances too!

Until next time, I hope you’re having as much discreet fun as I am! Is that even possible?