divorcedlondon

Greetings fans!

The release of my book, “discreetlondon: the secret internet diary of an unfaithful husband – the complete UNCENSORED blog” is rapidly approaching!

After my recent health scare, I can’t think of more exciting news!

As a bit of a promotion, I thought I would bring you an as-yet unpublished interview I did with a magazine journalist last spring. The feature article about me was expected to be published last summer, but was suddenly dropped by the magazine at the last minute due to space limitations.

The journalist who interviewed me explained that he would try to sell the interview elsewhere, but as I haven’t heard back from him since, I’m sure he won’t mind me posting it here for you.

The main topic of the interview was finding NSA sex on the internet, but of course some of the questions focused on me too. How could they not?

Just like my previous interview with that tabloid reporter, this one was conducted via instant messages, to preserve my anonymity.

I removed any references to the journalist’s real name and his publication; otherwise, this is the full, unedited text. Enjoy!

(Friday 3rd March - 9am)
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magazine journalist [09:01:18]: hi there

discreetlondon [09:01:47]: good morning. you're prompt, I appreciate that

magazine journalist [09:03:03]: okay, I have read some of your blog, but for the piece we'll have to assume I haven't, as I'll need quotes that summarise. Firstly, how did you start using craigslist? And more specifically, the casual encounters section?

discreetlondon [09:04:55]: That's fine, I understand. I started using craigslist a couple of years ago, after spotting an article in a newspaper about how popular it was...especially the Casual Encounters or CE section of the site. The description they gave of it made it sound like a sexual free-for-all and I wanted to taste that myself. Once I did, I went back for more again and again! No-strings sex is the best!

magazine journalist [09:05:42]: were you married at that point? was that part of the attraction, that you could get away with it easier?

discreetlondon [09:07:31]: yes, indeed I was married then and yes it was part of the attraction, a big part. As a married man, you want as few real-world ties as possible with a discreet partner and by meeting someone through craigslist, that is easily accomplished. I would venture a guess that 60-75% of the men using craigslist are married. Oh and for the record, my wife never caught me cheating...actually I caught her!

magazine journalist [09:08:10]: had you used any similar site before craigslist? if not, why not?

discreetlondon [09:09:27]: No, not really. I didn't know of any other sites, but I have used another one since called Gumtree, which is nowhere near as good. The first time I cheated on my wife it was with someone I worked with at the time and I realised that was a very bad idea, but knew I wanted more discreet fun. I thought about different ways to meet other women secretly....

discreetlondon [09:10:51]: I tried chatlines, I used massage parlours, I tried internet chat rooms, instant messenger software, the works. The only sure fire method was meeting a whore and I knew I had to do better. I have received spam from loads of adult contact sites, but they all charge for their services and for all I know, could just be scams. craigslist is perfect, it has real people, looking for real sex and it's totally free!

magazine journalist [09:11:30]: what's your experiences of it been so far? How many women would you say you've met?

discreetlondon [09:13:35]: I would say my experiences so far have been fantastic! For me, meeting a complete stranger is a total rush, it's about the most exciting thing you can do, especially when it is as anonymous as craigslist is...I never exchange photos and just adore it when I get a complete stranger to visit me on very short notice! I love women, all women, any woman...and I really don't mind who I meet. I've been lucky, everyone I've met has been very nice and there's always something you can find attractive about a woman, especially if you're going to screw her!

discreetlondon [09:14:55]: As far as giving you a number goes, I'll tell you a story. Before I started my first blog, I had real trouble keeping track of all the women I shagged. Finally, I sat down and tried to make a list and I knew it was missing some. A couple of weeks later, I tried again and this second list overlapped with the first by only 50%, so I realised I'd never be able to keep count, there's just been too many !

magazine journalist [09:15:25]: but could you make an educated guess?

discreetlondon [09:16:54]: oh god, you are really putting me on the spot here. If I guess too low, I'll be cheating myself out of shagging cred, but if I go to high I'll sound like a man-slut! Let's say between 200-300 in the last 3 years or so. That's probably as realistic as I'm going to get

discreetlondon [09:17:10]: but that counts blow jobs, hand jobs and me going down on them too

magazine journalist [09:18:40]: is there a 'type' of women you find yourself meeting, or does is vary wildly? I guess the assumption from some guys would be the standard of women wouldn't bee too high, is that true? Or are there lots of young, successful women on there too looking for some easy sex?

discreetlondon [09:20:53]: All of the above! For me, I try to make a quick decision based on the information at hand, emails, brief telephone conversations, just the general feeling I get. The truth is attitude and availability matter more to me than physical appearance, within reason of course. I always have a rule in place that either one of us can change our minds, without explanation or having to be asked "why?" and coming up with an awkward answer and so far, no one has used it with me and I haven't used it on anyone either.

discreetlondon [09:22:22]: And I haven't met every woman I've been in contact with. Very recently, I was exchanging emails with a woman and something didn't seem right with her. I politely told her "no thanks" and that I didn't think meeting would be a good idea. I thought that was the end of it, but she started stalking me online, dozens of emails every day! I taught her a real impressive lesson though! I wrote about it in my blog, if you want a good laugh!

magazine journalist [09:23:53]: what's been your best craiglist experience (take you time to answer)?

discreetlondon [09:24:19]: that's a tough one, because I've had so many...let me think....

discreetlondon [09:27:01]: ok, the one that just lept out of my memory is this: meeting a woman on new years eve last year, while my wife was working. She was the mistress of another married guy and naturally he was with his family, so she was looking for something to do to celebrate the new year, discreetly and without strings. Aside from the fact that she was extremely hot, I mean amazing..!...it was the fact that this would have been the last night I would have ever expected to pull someone from the 'net. without craigslist, this encounter and many of my other experiences would not have been possible!

magazine journalist [09:28:38]: you say most of the men using craigslist are married, is the same true of the women you meet?

discreetlondon [09:29:55]: some, but I would guess there are less married women than married men, but I'm just basing that on my experience. the women on there tend to vary. the only thing I would say they all have in common in access to the internet! everything else differs in a million ways

magazine journalist [09:30:40]: what would you say, if any, has been the main drawback about it?

discreetlondon [09:33:56]: timewasters. allow me to explain. there is a percentage of people playing online that will never meet you. there are many reasons for this, they could be scared, change their minds, they could be men pretending to be women, they could be women who just want fantasy material to wank to, or the ever popular picture collectors. There are people who will give you fake phone numbers, there are women who will call u for phone sex and hang up as soon as they cum. There are even women who take your address, arrange to visit, then don't show up. That's the downside. Luckily for me, I figured this out early and came up with some foolproof methods to miss out on most of this pointless nonsense. I'm happy to share a couple of my winning tips, if you think you're readers would find them useful.

magazine journalist [09:34:51]: yes, i think a brief summary would be interesting...

discreetlondon [09:36:56]: ok, that's fine, I'll give you one of my personal favourites that have never failed me. First and foremost, whether you are married, attached or single, get yourself a second, secret mobile phone. Always keep it on vibrate, unless you are alone, always keep it switched off and master-pin protected. They are seriously cheap these days and you have no excuse not to own one if you are going to play my kind of discreet games. And if you need to ditch any of your lovers, all you need is a new SIM card and everyone you knew is history!...

magazine journalist [09:42:06]: wow - you really do have it worked out. Can i ask, have you come close to sparking up a genuine relationship with anyone from craigslist, or is each encounter a one-time deal?

discreetlondon [09:42:27]: As you can see, I'm an expert on this subject, I have more knowledge and experience than anyone else you'll ever find!

discreetlondon [09:42:52]: Umm, I've seen people more than once, but no, nothing serious. After the way my marriage ended, I'm quite happy to stay NSA for as long as possible

magazine journalist [09:43:53]: when you post an ad, what do you say, and how many responces will you usually get in reply?

discreetlondon [09:46:22]: there's no set rules to any of it. When I post, I tend to put up more than one advert, each with a different approach, tone and offer. There is a lot of competition out there, so anything that gives me an edge, I use it. As far as replies go, that varies too, from the time of day, the day of the week, even the time of the year and probably the phase of the moon! I have found that replies tend to come in clusters, so it must mean that I've struck a certain note that's played on more women than time. But you can't use the same advert over and over, if women notice it every day, you'll never get a response! You need to freshen them up regularly

magazine journalist [09:47:19]: what different approaches, for instance, do you use? what yields the most responces?

discreetlondon [09:48:23]: ok, I'll tell you the one that used to work the best for me, but so many people have copied it, that it's no where near as effective. And when I say copied, I mean cut and pastes from my blog as well as from craigslist. People do it to me all the time, which is another reason why I need to change them often!

discreetlondon [09:49:22]: The best one was simple "genuine oral sex available without strings or anything expected in return for any woman in need". I came up with it first! Now, look on gumtree and craigslist, you'll see dozens on that particular offer!

discreetlondon [09:50:25]: That one always attracted heaps of replies and every time I ran it, until it was done to death by everyone else, I always ended up meeting a few women from it. And it always went further than the offer...once I gave them the full discreetlondon treatment, they let me do anything I wanted!

magazine journalist [09:52:20]: I have to ask the question that I guess would spring to mind of many of my readers, would be: wouldn't that attract women a bit, well, fat/ugly, when you say "any women in need"?

discreetlondon [09:54:52]: I was worried about that as well, but there's a certain amount of, um, I'm not sure of the best word, self censorship I guess, out there. Just imagine for a second you are the fat, ugly girl. How confident would you need to be to walk into a stranger's flat, knowing he could just say "no thanks" and you'd have to leave without so much as a handshake? You'd need to be brave, crazy or stupid and I think they are probably more sensitive than that. Rejection is rejection whether it’s in a pub or club or my front room at 2am on a Friday night. If you think you are going be rejected, then you aren't going to take the risk...

discreetlondon [09:55:28]: That said, I have met women this way I would never have thought to chat up in public, but I just see that as interesting diversity. I've never been ashamed or disappointed by anyone I've met or anything I've done

magazine journalist [09:55:57]: do you ask to see pictures first? do you send women your picture?

discreetlondon [09:58:17]: no and no. When I was married, I would never have considered sending my picture to anyone, I can't think of anything more indiscreet than emailing my photo to a stranger on the internet! It could be anyone, from your wife's best friend to a tabloid reporter! Since them, I did not think it was fair to ask for pictures and to be honest; it wouldn't make a difference to me. Attitude and availability count much more! For craigslist, I would never, ever bother with a photo. Sometimes it means you miss out on meeting someone, but then that's there loss! I prefer it to be totally anonymous and the first time I see them is when I open my door and lead them into my flat!

magazine journalist [09:59:06]: Fair enough. I'm insterested, are you just as likely to chat up women in a bar for a one-night stand, or would you always prefer craigslist?

discreetlondon [10:00:40]: I don't mind where I find a woman, just as long as I am finding one somewhere and often! The lazy part of me enjoys craigslist more, because I can do it from home; I can relax, have a jacuzzi, put on my favourite charcoal grey robe and have a willing, horny woman come to me. Doesn't that sound like a little corner of heaven, with a velvet rope around it and your name on the little table on a tiny little white card?

magazine journalist [10:01:42]: do you think you'll get tired of it? Isn't it a little unsatisfying?

discreetlondon [10:03:09]: If you get tired of NSA sex and discreet fun then I think you're also probably just tired of life! I could never see stopping my discreet lifestyle! I enjoy it way too much to ever give it up! And if you think its unsatisfying, you should take a walk in my shoes for a fortnight. I think it might alter your perspective!

magazine journalist [10:04:24]: I don't mean sexually, but - for the risk of sounding like I'm moralising (and I'm not - I can certainly understand the attraction to it) isn't there something a bit emotionally shallow to it? At least meeting a girl in a bar means there's some connection that got it started...

discreetlondon [10:05:29]: You're making a distinction between a pub pick-up and a net hook-up and I don't think it's a fair splitting of the hairs. You're pointing out the differences between the means, but the end result remains the same.

magazine journalist [10:06:14]: true - and I'm only asking if you see a difference. I'm only suggesting that other people might...

discreetlondon [10:07:00]: If anything, a pick-up is more shallow, because you're pretending you're interested in a woman and her life, you act like you're paying attention, but really all you want to do is get in her knickers! My way is much more honest and direct, with any of the false niceties. I'm not saying its not polite and friendly, because it is, but you know where you stand.

discreetlondon [10:07:42]: Let me ask you this, rhetorically of course. Have you ever slept with woman once and not phoned her back? Isn't that more cruel than agreeing to have a sexy sensual session together for just one night, without strings?

magazine journalist [10:07:43]: when you put it like that, I think you have a very good point

magazine journalist [10:08:13]: yes, I have, and that's certainly true - at least your way is honest

discreetlondon [10:09:12]: Internet hook-ups are the future. More people are staying single, if you believe the papers, we're all working harder for longer hours and lower pay and people in their 30s are living at home! That really does my head in! They're all going to need sex, on terms and a schedule that suits their lives. My discreet lifestyle is already there!

magazine journalist [10:09:49]: well, I think that's all I need - I know some of the questions may have been a little stark - especially at the end there - but I hope you see that's just me doing my job, to get the quotes from you like the following, which was a very good point: "If anything, a pick-up is more shallow, because you're pretending you're interested in a woman and her life, you act like you're paying attention, but really all you want to do is get in her knickers!"

discreetlondon [10:09:51]: I was lucky, when I was married, my wife worked shifts and she did lots of weekends and overnights, so I had the time, the place, the opportunity and the discreet mind to get away with it! Once I tried it, I got hooked!

magazine journalist [10:10:10]: if I have any other things I really wanted to ask, is it okay if I send you a quick email?

magazine journalist [10:10:26]: but thanks so much for your time

discreetlondon [10:10:32]: mr journalist, it was fine, I enjoyed. I felt a bit phylosophical at the end!

discreetlondon [10:10:43]: please feel free to email with more questions, I'll reply asap

discreetlondon [10:10:49]: and one question to u...

magazine journalist [10:10:53]: certainly

discreetlondon [10:11:38]: I have this idea for being an "agony uncle" for married men in a magazine and I actually have a section on divorcedlondon where I do just that. Do you think that's something your magazine might be interested in?

magazine journalist [10:13:16]: well, I don't think an 'agony uncle' is really my magazine’s style - but they do have two columnists - one male and one female - writing about relationships. An entire montly column specifically on married men would be too specific I would imagine

discreetlondon [10:13:45]: I sort of thought your magazine might be too upmarket for my low brow advice!

magazine journalist [10:14:21]: the other - more general - pointer, is that even the people who do those are professional journalists and writers, who end up in those positions, rather than simply people who have 'been there' - if you know what I mean

discreetlondon [10:14:31]: What I want to do is answer letters. The feature has been very popular with my fans online, so I thought I should try to find a way to get paid for doing it, since I was doing it on a small scale anyway!

discreetlondon [10:16:09]: Yes, I do take your point. It's just the example that was given to me was "The Happy Hooker" from Penthouse, who had letter's section in that magazine for something like 30 years, all based on her life experience

magazine journalist [10:16:53]: To bo honest, it works like this: you'd either be a non-writer, but a celeb, a 'name' the publication can flag on their cover (that's for tabloids, lads mags, women's and celeb mags) and for the higher end (style-type style mags, broadsheets etc) you'd just need to be an excellent and proven writer. I can't think of anyone who doesn't fall into one of those two categories... well, there is Belle De Jour, but then she attained a big level of celebrity - so you'd need to be like her I guess

discreetlondon [10:17:22]: hopefully after your article is printed, I'll be just as well known!

magazine journalist [10:17:49]: well, it's certainly a start - I'm sure belle de jour was first written about somewhere before it snowballed

magazine journalist [10:18:01]: so there's every chance

discreetlondon [10:18:45]: Yes, I bet that is true. Thank you very much for your advice mr journalist. You can tell people you were the first one who brought me from the darkest shadows of the internet into a mainstream publication!

magazine journalist [10:19:04]: wonderful! and again, thanks for your time

discreetlondon [10:19:09]: I look forward to reading your article! Thanks again for the pointers!

discreetlondon [10:19:12]: my pleasure!

discreetlondon [10:19:44]: bye

magazine journalist [10:19:49]: bye
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I hope you enjoyed reading the interview, I’m just sorry that the magazine cancelled the story as I think it might have brought me an even more fans! Hopefully with the launch of my book so close, there will be other opportunities to receive some long overdue media attention!

Only time will tell!

All the best
discreetlondon
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